(warning: use of profanity: moderate)
So, when I signed on to be involved in this HBO Documentary over four years ago called Risky Drinking (the title was then unknown), I had no idea it would spark hate mail on my innocent little blog, one not unlike many other mom or food blogs out there that talk about wine and the craziness of raising kids and totally real and normal shit like that. I was given no money; just hope that maybe I would connect with more like-minded readers and I could sit around and write all day. I was not thinking those readers would be recovered alcoholics hating me because I can still drink and they cannot.
Let me clarify one thing: I am just like millions of other women (and men) around the goddman world who drink wine. Big fucking deal. Every now and then, a martini. Maybe a craft beer from a local brewery. I'm a grown-up. I'm sorry to tell you that everyone who does this are not all "alcoholics." I get up early, I work out 6 days a week, I take care of my family, I feed them healthy food, I maintain an organic garden, I work a job, I have friends, I enjoy life. I'm #winning and I'm sorry if it makes you angry. But just face the fact that other people can, do and will drink. And many of us, not to drown sorrows or suppress childhood traumas. We just do, because we can. To celebrate, to unwind, to TASTE it (yes it pairs nicely with food). We do once a week, on Wednesdays or every damn day. It's none of your goddamn business and it's not up to you to decide. Sure it's a "drug" (sure, it is and must be used with caution) but you tell us it will "kill us." (tell it to my 84 year old dad who has smoked since he was 14 and drinks vodka and Miller High life for the last 50 years). Big Macs will kill you too. Your RX drugs will kill you. Do YOUR thing. Don't drink. Live and let live. But don't write on momblogs that "Your life will not be long-lived" (Thanks Eric Furst) and berate a blogger's blog (Bill W) just because they like wine. Why are you so goddamn pissed off, be honest with yourself. Deal with your self and stop your goddamn BULLYING! (yes, I'm going to hell too for saying goddamn so save your shit for someone else).
Just to RE-CLARIFY: I was told the film was about "the spectrum" of alcohol use. About "moderation." I was told it's definitely not about "T-totalling" and it's not about Alcoholics Anonymous or anything like that. I was NOT told I would start receiving hate mail from these supposedly Christian AA members, cowardly using the handle "Bill W" or maybe other false names. Maybe real names. Who knows.
So if it's not that I get to drink but you think I screwed over a friend in the film; that I found an alcoholic to "out," give me a fucking break. I'll tell you again: the HBO producer had read a blog post I wrote and contacted me via Facebook, she came to visit me (and see just how bad a lush I was I guess. I disappointed as she filmed me doing my motherly, wifely and work duties like a boss despite the fact that I drink wine). Maybe as option B, she asked if I had a happy hour group, which I did and I invited that group to meet her. I did not leave anyone out, as any of them would probably be fiercely angry had I not invited her. I was a bit apprehensive but I extended the invite to all and all had a choice whether to participate. They all did.
If you watched the doc you will know what happened. I've read many things written about our "mom happy hour" segment which many people seemed to relate to. I've received many nice comments about myself, but here on my blog there seem to be people with a need to degrade me, doom me, or blame ME for other peoples' actions. Is that why I get these rude comments like from Bill W and a couple others? They feel a need to place blame? They think I purposely tricked a friend into saying things they would later regret? Maybe someone else did but I was not involved and it baffles the fuck out of me.
I took my blog down recently due to this hate mail then I thought, "why are you being such a pussy?" It's just one or two cult members, after all. And today I wake up to "Your life will not be long-lived, I guarantee it" from "Eric Furst." At first I thought, oh yes, he either assumes I am some raging alcoholic hiding vodka in my drawer or he's just telling me wine will kill me. Along with the plant based organic food I eat from my garden while I'm doing yoga. Then I thought, wait, surely these fanatics aren't sending DEATH THREATS to all people who drink? Cuz i know I'm not the only one! Death to wine lovers everywhere! You can find tons of them all over Instagram BTW! I googled ole Eric and found an email for that name in MD, and if it's indeed him I've invited him to an adult conversation. Eric: I got an out-of-office reply so I'm sure you're having a wild time on a beach somewhere, but give me a holla upon your return and we can shoot the shit, deal?
Basically, I'm just fucking livid and sick of it that I get threatened and insulted by these people who hate, and for what? WTF did I do to you? I don't owe an explanation nor do I need to qualify myself. Go smoke your cigs (killer drug) drink your coffee (also drug) and eat your donuts (really?) at your meetings and live and let live, for god's fucking sake.