^^^pictured: dull and tedious person
There's a lot of bullshit going on in the world right now. Politics, shooters in airports, The Bachelor. There's a lot of shit going on in my life - work stuff, health stuff, kid stuff, money stuff. But that doesn't prevent me from being hurt by words of a complete stranger. Especially when they are passing judgment on me as a human being based on 20 minutes they saw in a documentary. I've been blogging (yes on a sadly irrelevant level) for 8 years now. I did it in a cathartic way. I write. So it's the first hate mail I've ever gotten, and it was downright nasty - in response to the doc and my post re: how I came to be involved in the HBO documentary Risky Drinking. I've heard many kind things about my "role" in it, but these people, they "cringed". The harsh words have really weighed on me, (and yes probably my Ego) so congratulations to "Bill W" (who I learned is an alias of the legion of AA recoveries around the world). I can't help it; like most other people, I too can be hurt by words, especially those relaying unfounded conclusions as truth. I've always been a writer and the way I get shit off my chest is to write it down and move on so here goes. #catharsis
And the thing is, I think said person needs a vocabulary lesson. Find that below this quoted paragraph:
"You need a fucking wake up call. Your pithy little blog is pathetic, and your role in the documentary made my husband and me cringe. Not only are you a person completely lacking in true caring and compassion for your "friends," you knowingly outed Noel in her sobriety on a public forum here. Shame on you. Truly, your ramblings on the documentary were vapid, self-centered, and delusional. Learn a little bit about addiction before you start espousing what addiction does to "friendships" (not to mention the person with the problem). Gross. Good luck "keeping yourself in check" and willing yourself away from addiction."
First off let's define the word "pithy": brief, forceful, and meaningful in expression; full of vigor, substance, or meaning.
THANK YOU! What a kind adjective to use!
pathetic: causing or evoking pity, sympathetic sadness, sorrow, etc. pitiful, pitiable.
Ok, now I'm getting confused! First my words are meaningful and full of vigor, then they are pitiful in the same sentence? These are all "P" words, so it's a totally legitimate mistake.
vapid: lacking or having lost life, sharpness, or flavor; insipid, flat; without liveliness or spirit; dull or tedious
Well. that's just mean. But c'mon I think even a hater can admit that my personality and/or writing is fairly spirited, at least? I've just never been labeled as boring, like ever. Call me paranoid, but I think *maybe* you were looking for "vacuous"? Because "lacking in ideas or intelligence; stupid" seems to be more the angle you're shooting for. Well whatever the case, I may have a master's degree in journalism but I'm not going for rocket-science shit here. This is a "mom-blog" which is generally not written with the intention of high thought or to be teachy.
Delusional: well I don't have to define this one do I? Or do I? "having false or unrealistic beliefs or opinions; having fixed false beliefs even when confronted with facts, usually as a result of mental illness.
But, wait, why am I "delusional", exactly? Am I delusional regarding my friend? How I and the others did not realize the depths of her alcohol problem until it was revealed to HBO, on camera? Or is it about me, and how since I drink when I want to I am delusional to think I can do without falling down the alcoholic rabbit hole? Are all of the millions and millions of people in the world that enjoy alcoholic beverages also delusional? It's just impossible; we ALL need to join AA? I mean, maybe I'm taking it wrong, but, enlighten me, please.
Aside from vocabulary, a couple other points that I need clarify:
"You are "completely lacking in true caring and compassion for your "friends"."
UMMMM, How so? How in SAM HELL do you come to that conclusion based on this 20 minutes of a film!? First of all, anyone else I know who has seen it felt I was a VERY compassionate supportive friend on film and off, and if YOU ONLY KNEW the years I played that role! To many people! I am a person people talk to because they describe me as "real" and I listen, so shove that bullshit up your own ass, please. Also, "friends" in quotations? What the HELL do you know??? NADA. Amigo.
"You knowingly outed [said person in film] in her sobriety on a public forum"
Really? Is that what happened? Or, was I actually there, unlike you, and did in fact go down like this (forgive me for repeating some of what I said in the other blog post): the producer found a guest blog I'd written and contacted me via my Facebook page. I thought wow, maybe I can actually get some readers for my blog! Not, "hey let me find a friend to embarrass publicly." She asked to come visit. Asked if I had a group of happy hour friends. Of course I did. Producer did not say: we are looking for people with drinking problems. She said this film is about "the spectrum." It was very unclear, probably even to her, what would happen. So, I had second thoughts about asking [said friend] to participate, but as part of this happy hour group, had I not included her to be involved, with HBO - HBO, I was pretty sure it would be hell to pay. Can you imagine saying, sorry friend, you can't come be filmed by HBO with the rest of us!? [said friend] said yes, along with the others. So, the producer took us all out to dinner before any filming. We all met. We all signed off on being filmed. The end.
A few days later we filmed the dinner at our friend Ceri's house where the wine was flowing. This is where, as you see in the film, [said friend] begins to talk about herself/drinking. No one told her to. The rest of us were a bit surprised and didn't know about most of the stuff she said. We were fully aware of the camera man and sound fella hovering around us. Most of the women purposely contained ourselves, and our drinking. As it turned out, [Said friend], shared some very private things about herself on the subject of alcohol in particular, on camera (as you already know if you have watched the film). Wine does help one open up, but only one of us [said friend] did. Let's go back to the fact that we were all grown women, agreed to be there, signed a rights waiver, and had the responsibility of our words and our behavior. IS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU? Does that convince you that there was no "outing" of anyone!?
Go ahead, tell me how I'm wrong!? This particular subject just infuriates me - to be blamed for another consenting grown person's actions. I will not stand for it.
Next - your comment about me learning about addiction. You don't know what I know (Oh yes I'm bragging but my first degree was in psychology so I at least have some textbook knowledge as well as worked in a residential treatment facility after college), and you also don't know anything about the people involved for years prior, as well as things that happened after the filming. Sober or not. Alcohol had only recently become the main problem. And maybe everyone ignoring the problem was, like I said, "negligent" but we really didn't believe that alcohol was the problem.
The "good luck on keeping yourself in check" -
Sounds like you are most likely a "recovered alcoholic" (I'm just guessing here, Bill W) and hold the view, as I mentioned earlier, that NO ONE in the world, as adults, can enjoy a beverage that people have for centuries on a moderate, manageable level, for pleasure. To you, it is a demon and it's good that you have conquered it. But it's not a demon for everyone. That is an ego-centric view and really, that is delusional. Thanks though for the sarcastic encouragement that is basically just elementary thinking. Also, the HBO film was trying to relate just that: alcohol disorders are not black and white and on a spectrum - from "non problem" to "really bad problem" and all sorts of levels in between, and trying to help people come to a conclusion as to where they are on said spectrum.
I think I have left no stone unturned. Oh wait, "gross." Thanks, jerk off. See all of the above. ^^^